The following is an excerpt of the first couple of minutes of that fateful first meet.
I enter the room rather unwillingly. I sit in the chair opposite to Him and brace myself for the aural assault that is to follow. Its like satellite feed. You need state-of-the-art filtering systems to sift through the million or so terabytes of data to get what you need. Soon, the filtering system starts to overload and you realize that you are not fast enough and that it doesn't matter anymore.
Enter Venkaaat.
Him: Hi Venkaaat! Its probably not the best of questions to ask. In fact, you know, its probably more of a statement than a question. Although, you know, some would consider this as a question still. And I am sure you already know the answer to this and I am, you know, just being rather stupid or naive about the whole thing. But I am just going to go ahead and ask anyway. So, how are you?
Me: Good. Yourself?
Him: I am sure its debatable, but, you know, I would probably say that I am doing alright. There is a lot of snow around, and its quite scary thinking about driving in this weather. After that accident 13 winters ago, its quite petrifying venturing out. I would say its more of caution than fear, you know, but its probably fear as well. So basically, if you ask me, you know, I would have to say I am doing about average.
Me: Ok.
Him: (Dialling the conference number - beep beep .. beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. ( beep beep .. beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. (beep beep .. beep beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. (beep beep .. beep beep beep beep) Three more beeps. We are into conference with the others.
Them: Hi there! How are you?
Him: We are doing good, in spite of the fact that I had a few problems dialling into the conference number. I dialled thrice and wrongly. But thats ok. I was finally able to get it right. And so here we are, talking to each other over the phone. So Venkaaat, do you want to take over the call?
Me: Sure. So, we have...
Him: Ven...
Me: ... 4 items to discuss today.
Him: Venk...
Me: Let me start with ...
Him: Venkaaat. Venkaaat. Before you begin, I'd just like to ask a quick question. I am pretty certain you'd think I am crazy, you know, but I still need to make sure I understand this. While it seems rather unlikely that we will be able to solve this right away, the aim here is, you know, ... (brief silence) you know, to, you know, to, to just try and lay it out on the table for everyone to think about and come to some conclusion, so we know, you know, what's the general direction we are going to take and, and, and how its going to help us with what we are trying to accomplish. And, I think, it's going to be more than just a question. Its .... its ... (brief silence) ... its (heavy sigh) ... its going to serve, you know, as our guiding light, or, or, or guiding principle, if you may, for all future meetings. So, how do you want to take this meeting forward, Venkaaat?
By this time, the filtering system is jammed by the barrage of longitudinal waves. Auditory lobes are overheated and hearing comes hard, each syllable hitting the ear lobe with increasing force. The sheer verbosity poses serious risks of brain damage. I look at him blankly for a couple of seconds, trying to comprehend that verbal essay. The effort put in, in sifting through the millions of "you know"s, causes fatigue. Since the only sensible thing to do is to run through the status, I continue.
Me: So, the first item on the list is for ...
Him: Venkaaat ... Venkaaaat ....
This is going to be a long day.
I enter the room rather unwillingly. I sit in the chair opposite to Him and brace myself for the aural assault that is to follow. Its like satellite feed. You need state-of-the-art filtering systems to sift through the million or so terabytes of data to get what you need. Soon, the filtering system starts to overload and you realize that you are not fast enough and that it doesn't matter anymore.
Enter Venkaaat.
Him: Hi Venkaaat! Its probably not the best of questions to ask. In fact, you know, its probably more of a statement than a question. Although, you know, some would consider this as a question still. And I am sure you already know the answer to this and I am, you know, just being rather stupid or naive about the whole thing. But I am just going to go ahead and ask anyway. So, how are you?
Me: Good. Yourself?
Him: I am sure its debatable, but, you know, I would probably say that I am doing alright. There is a lot of snow around, and its quite scary thinking about driving in this weather. After that accident 13 winters ago, its quite petrifying venturing out. I would say its more of caution than fear, you know, but its probably fear as well. So basically, if you ask me, you know, I would have to say I am doing about average.
Me: Ok.
Him: (Dialling the conference number - beep beep .. beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. ( beep beep .. beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. (beep beep .. beep beep beep beep) Oops! I made a mistake. (beep beep .. beep beep beep beep) Three more beeps. We are into conference with the others.
Them: Hi there! How are you?
Him: We are doing good, in spite of the fact that I had a few problems dialling into the conference number. I dialled thrice and wrongly. But thats ok. I was finally able to get it right. And so here we are, talking to each other over the phone. So Venkaaat, do you want to take over the call?
Me: Sure. So, we have...
Him: Ven...
Me: ... 4 items to discuss today.
Him: Venk...
Me: Let me start with ...
Him: Venkaaat. Venkaaat. Before you begin, I'd just like to ask a quick question. I am pretty certain you'd think I am crazy, you know, but I still need to make sure I understand this. While it seems rather unlikely that we will be able to solve this right away, the aim here is, you know, ... (brief silence) you know, to, you know, to, to just try and lay it out on the table for everyone to think about and come to some conclusion, so we know, you know, what's the general direction we are going to take and, and, and how its going to help us with what we are trying to accomplish. And, I think, it's going to be more than just a question. Its .... its ... (brief silence) ... its (heavy sigh) ... its going to serve, you know, as our guiding light, or, or, or guiding principle, if you may, for all future meetings. So, how do you want to take this meeting forward, Venkaaat?
By this time, the filtering system is jammed by the barrage of longitudinal waves. Auditory lobes are overheated and hearing comes hard, each syllable hitting the ear lobe with increasing force. The sheer verbosity poses serious risks of brain damage. I look at him blankly for a couple of seconds, trying to comprehend that verbal essay. The effort put in, in sifting through the millions of "you know"s, causes fatigue. Since the only sensible thing to do is to run through the status, I continue.
Me: So, the first item on the list is for ...
Him: Venkaaat ... Venkaaaat ....
This is going to be a long day.
