No. I am not cheap. But seven grand is a lot of money. Or so I thought.
Rewind to November 3rd, 2008. I pass the driving test as if it was child’s play and victoriously claim my New Jersey driver’s license. The day passes gleefully, with the lingering elation that comes from winning a battle. I bask in the glory as I continue to receive congratulations for the feat. The celebration however is short lived. By any stretch of imagination, identification at cigarette stores is about the only use I can put the license to. Unless I have a car.
Now, I am the kind of guy who has a very powerful imagination; the kind of guy who lives out an entire alternate life in one little corner of the brain. It could be anything from a fantastic body to exceptional genius rivaled only by Einstein. When the little corner comes to life, you could be sitting in a public trash can, eating Tiramisu in one of New York’s finest Italian restaurants, and you wouldn’t know the difference. It fills up with amazing speed and starts to spill over. The unreal makes another vain attempt to enter the realm of the real. Colloquial usage terms this as ‘building castles in the air’, as aptly put by one fervent critic of mine. Also aptly criticized is the distorted idea that ‘two in the bush’ is somehow inexplicably, and contrary to reason, superior to ‘one in the hand’.
My obsession with BMWs is quite widely known. Also widely known is the fact that I am the lowly software developer who has taken the place of better, more deserving programmers in the abysmal universe of IT laborers. I am cooking up fantasies of a cheap BMW in good condition with decent interior upholstery. The mind however is a peculiar entity, with almost a life of its own. Great men have struggled through life trying to control the mind. Very few succeeded. I, as always, fail miserably. I look into various car sale websites looking for that perfect car for the perfect price.
Every car is either too big or too small. No car gives enough fuel economy and no car gives enough performance. The concept of trade-off escapes the mind as it continues to dwell in the alternate universe where everything comes, and comes at no cost. As more and more hours pass, I begin to realize that this is not as easy as it looks. There are just too many variables. I am introduced to the idea of looking for car sale advertisements in laundry rooms. I scan a few of them, but find nothing. The perfect car (read BMW) continues to elude me.
One rainy evening a few days later, I receive the email that had the potential to change all of this. A friend is leaving to India and is on a selling spree. The 2005-made car, listed at seven and a half grand, is a prize by any standard. As I will realize later, the mind has already slipped into the corner. I see the 7.5 grand as going ‘all in’. My limit is 5.5 grand. It raises the alarm in my head.. Around me, good fellows suggest that it is just two grand more and it is worth every penny. But the mind blocks out all reasoning. I continue to look at the cost price with hate in my eyes. More good fellows extend persuasive encouragement to accept this benediction. The mind blocks out all reasoning. I recede to the delusive fulfillment of the little corner.
That Tuesday comes as a surprise and some solace. The office is giving out chocolate cookies from 2 to 3 PM. I wait expectantly for 2 o'clock. The usual afternoon is torpid. Tuesday afternoon turns electric. I open the door and step into the hallway. The luscious smell of fresh chocolate sweeps me off my feet. I suck in deep breaths of the delicious flavor until I can feel it in every cell. And my eyes fall upon The Fountain. It is a small staged recirculation unit, a flat rounded plate at the top and a larger cup right below it. The thick liquid makes its way up to the top of the plate and ambles quietly over the edge, descending into the cup below with a unique unparalleled radiance. The cup fills up and the liquid lazily spills over to the base, only to make its way up again. My eyes feast on this spectacular event. Pure, unadulterated golden brown Chocolate. Time stops. The mind is, for once, free. I feel bliss. The distinction between the real and the unreal becomes irrelevant. I am happy.
The idea of seven grand continues to run amok in my head. The mind, as I said, is a peculiar entity. When persisted with, enough, an untouchable idea loses resistance and ultimately finds acceptance. My mind is no exception. Two days and several hours later, seven grand is not preposterous anymore. I make peace. Peace leads to a frantic attempt to try and acquire the car. I am too late. I have been beaten by a buyer with an evident higher power of reasoning. The spectacle of the afternoon starts to fade away.
Mr. Opportunity knocked politely at the open front door. When all I had to do was nod, I reached out and slammed the door on his face, probably after stomping on his foot.
I am cheap.
Rewind to November 3rd, 2008. I pass the driving test as if it was child’s play and victoriously claim my New Jersey driver’s license. The day passes gleefully, with the lingering elation that comes from winning a battle. I bask in the glory as I continue to receive congratulations for the feat. The celebration however is short lived. By any stretch of imagination, identification at cigarette stores is about the only use I can put the license to. Unless I have a car.
Now, I am the kind of guy who has a very powerful imagination; the kind of guy who lives out an entire alternate life in one little corner of the brain. It could be anything from a fantastic body to exceptional genius rivaled only by Einstein. When the little corner comes to life, you could be sitting in a public trash can, eating Tiramisu in one of New York’s finest Italian restaurants, and you wouldn’t know the difference. It fills up with amazing speed and starts to spill over. The unreal makes another vain attempt to enter the realm of the real. Colloquial usage terms this as ‘building castles in the air’, as aptly put by one fervent critic of mine. Also aptly criticized is the distorted idea that ‘two in the bush’ is somehow inexplicably, and contrary to reason, superior to ‘one in the hand’.
My obsession with BMWs is quite widely known. Also widely known is the fact that I am the lowly software developer who has taken the place of better, more deserving programmers in the abysmal universe of IT laborers. I am cooking up fantasies of a cheap BMW in good condition with decent interior upholstery. The mind however is a peculiar entity, with almost a life of its own. Great men have struggled through life trying to control the mind. Very few succeeded. I, as always, fail miserably. I look into various car sale websites looking for that perfect car for the perfect price.
Every car is either too big or too small. No car gives enough fuel economy and no car gives enough performance. The concept of trade-off escapes the mind as it continues to dwell in the alternate universe where everything comes, and comes at no cost. As more and more hours pass, I begin to realize that this is not as easy as it looks. There are just too many variables. I am introduced to the idea of looking for car sale advertisements in laundry rooms. I scan a few of them, but find nothing. The perfect car (read BMW) continues to elude me.
One rainy evening a few days later, I receive the email that had the potential to change all of this. A friend is leaving to India and is on a selling spree. The 2005-made car, listed at seven and a half grand, is a prize by any standard. As I will realize later, the mind has already slipped into the corner. I see the 7.5 grand as going ‘all in’. My limit is 5.5 grand. It raises the alarm in my head.. Around me, good fellows suggest that it is just two grand more and it is worth every penny. But the mind blocks out all reasoning. I continue to look at the cost price with hate in my eyes. More good fellows extend persuasive encouragement to accept this benediction. The mind blocks out all reasoning. I recede to the delusive fulfillment of the little corner.
That Tuesday comes as a surprise and some solace. The office is giving out chocolate cookies from 2 to 3 PM. I wait expectantly for 2 o'clock. The usual afternoon is torpid. Tuesday afternoon turns electric. I open the door and step into the hallway. The luscious smell of fresh chocolate sweeps me off my feet. I suck in deep breaths of the delicious flavor until I can feel it in every cell. And my eyes fall upon The Fountain. It is a small staged recirculation unit, a flat rounded plate at the top and a larger cup right below it. The thick liquid makes its way up to the top of the plate and ambles quietly over the edge, descending into the cup below with a unique unparalleled radiance. The cup fills up and the liquid lazily spills over to the base, only to make its way up again. My eyes feast on this spectacular event. Pure, unadulterated golden brown Chocolate. Time stops. The mind is, for once, free. I feel bliss. The distinction between the real and the unreal becomes irrelevant. I am happy.
The idea of seven grand continues to run amok in my head. The mind, as I said, is a peculiar entity. When persisted with, enough, an untouchable idea loses resistance and ultimately finds acceptance. My mind is no exception. Two days and several hours later, seven grand is not preposterous anymore. I make peace. Peace leads to a frantic attempt to try and acquire the car. I am too late. I have been beaten by a buyer with an evident higher power of reasoning. The spectacle of the afternoon starts to fade away.
Mr. Opportunity knocked politely at the open front door. When all I had to do was nod, I reached out and slammed the door on his face, probably after stomping on his foot.
I am cheap.
1 comment:
dont worry!!! for a BMW passionate dreamer, 10 yr old model of BMW is still a good shot over 1 yr old model (or new model also for that matter) of non-BMW car. or, perhaps, u can try to get a non-BMW model and engrave sufficient BMW logos on it, so that u can still feel happiness of being a BMW-owner. people and official rules are open to any kind of customizations (limited to look of the car and and visualization of the owner) for the car they own. of course, with a slight trade-off !!! decide quickly... so that you can take full advantage of driving BMW to sufficient satisfaction.... before the dream goes stale :-) Time ticks faster ...!!
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